User blog:The Testcardiologist/Signs that you're Kaehian

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I hope other countries with their países fics will do the same.

Basic aspects

• You seem to have Dolynesian ancestry.
  • Generally you would belong to a tribe but don't connect to it often.

Language

• You speak the same English as Neurcasia.
  • New Euslandian English just sounds like a drunken Liberdesian to you.
• You do realize that you don't share Neurcasia's slang on the other side.
  • "Shrimp on the barbie" is too stereotypical of Eurdecians and Atlansians, especially when you're dangerously close to Neurcasia.
  • You tend to avoid the shortform words they created like "barbie".
  • G'day? Nah, I'd rather say "goo'morning", "goor'afternoon" or "goor'evening".
  • Your definition of "down under" includes your Hispanic neighbors to the west and also Noega.
  • Chrissie? What's that? A girls' name? It's Christmas, Exmaz or whatever we call it
  • You still call cigarettes "cigs". That's the Anglosovic term.
  • Our "fair dinkum" is always "100% true"
  • We still say heaps coz Kiwis say that too
• When it comes to including indigenous terms, you have two te reos.
  • You're a greeting schizo in either language.
  • In te reo Taha, it's tarofa rawa or tēnā koutou.
  • In te reo Māori, it's kia ora or tēnā koutou.
    • Tēnā koutou in Taha is Māori's kia ora and tēnā koutou.
• Your tribal ancestry defines your first language.
  • In case of both parents being members of a tribe, English will be your second language.
• Of course, there are more languages like Rotan (IRL Rotuman), Fijian, Hamitiangan (IRL Tongan), etc.
  • Your city might have an immersion school in that language or includes classes in that language.
    • Not everyone understands Taha, mind.
  • The Taha word for "rip-off" is "timo". The same goes to Spanish.
    • A Cenfestarese artist made a song called Te timo (I rip you off). Kaehian Tahas understand it as "the rip-off".
• It's hard when you mispronounce a city's name.
  • Some people call Hopikua "Houpikua".
• When a non-Taha song is performed in one of the native languages:
  • Reo Pākeha: Sorry but you need to sing in English.
  • Reo Māori: confused much?
  • Reo Rota: This isn't our culture. We're not in Hopikua.

Life

• Most of you live in cities.
  • Few are farmers.
    • The few that aren't farmers are tribesmen.

Memes

• When you accidentally become the first English-speaking country to make a Talcian "doctor"'s theme song a meme and make a phony petition to make it a national anthem, Talcia and Hispanotransalia will sue you for damage.
  • Jorge Castro de la Barra, el que te acompaña
    • This jingle is a dangerous earworm. Please try and avoid it at all costs.
      • En su música, cordialidad, CONSEJOS Y AMISTAAAAAAAAAD
  • Now you're interested in Talcia's Marselo.
• Since you get some Māori programs imported from New Eusland, you can imitate the voices in the Te Māngai Pāho ad.
  • Is that Ben from Shorty saying "tautoko nā"?
  • I told you it's Antonio Te Maioha, stop it, Ben Mitchell got the mullet like 5 years after TMP got that sting
  • Michael Bay directed that animation for TMP. Nah, joking.
• You used to choreograph to the 2004-2016 KBC News theme.
  • You even made your own lyrics: "The news are starting now, THE NEWS ARE STARTING NOOOOOOOOOOW"

Film and television

• Yes, folks, right here in our own backyard, our own piece of Hollywood. It's called Hopiwood.
  • Hopiwood refers more to low-budget film productions capable to beat Porto Novo's Deinmar's 2016 right down their arses.
    • Theatrical films made in Kaehia are as rare as theatrical films made in New Eusland that aren't filmed there and are technically Atlansian but filmed there and with local talents. DINKLEBERG

Foreigners

• In many other English-speaking countries like the United Republics, Anglosaw and to some extent Neurcasia, when you seen an immigrant, you're likely to insult him/her to death. In Kaehia it's another story.
  • In Kaehia this depends on the stability of Hispanotransalia.
    • And worse, Kaehia's closest neighbor, Temurania.
• It's pretty common to abbreviate a Temuranian person as "Temu". You'd believe it was affectioned but no, it's the opposite.
  • 50% chance that the word "Temu" is considered censored and unfit for broadcast.
    • Temu is exclusive to Kaehia. You will likely see the word uncensored when footage emerges on NITV News or EVT World News in Neurcasia.
      • Blame all of that to Temurania claiming Rota as theirs.
        • YOU DIRTU TEMUS YOU'RE RUINING OUR COUNTRY I'LL CHOKE YOU TO DEATH
• You know who's worser than Temurania? Xi'Ang (the People's Republic).
  • New Eusland and Neurcasia have been increasingly pro-Xiang. Kaehia has refused 5G because they believe it causes the entire world to have cancer.
    • COVID GO HOME - the most iconic incident related to the anti-PRX sentiment in Kaehia, in Hopikua in March 2020.
• Brussia? Nah, it's the BT channel that is toxic.
  • BT: makes a handful of toxic comments about vandalizing a Taraiki library. Government: outright ban.
    • BT is an "objectionable" channel.
• In the past, it used to happen with Centralia, because they mixed up the Nnew Order with the "New World Order".
  • Don't buy New Order CDs. They're Centralian.
    • IF YOU STILL SPEAK SPANISH HERE I'LL KICK YOU TO [city]
      • There are many variations of that, but Santa Fe was common. For what reason? We'll never know. But at least it's not Libertadores. The above is no longer used that often.
  • This all stopped in the mid-90s when Centralia returned to the TIF.
    • Well, at least Centralia is no longer THAT bad. (1995 to 2000)
• Then came the Vradivan Islands, between the end of the Atlansian-backed dictatorship and 2018.
  • They thought Vradiva was a totalitarian regime. Then they realized that political dissidents from there living in Kaehia were told to go back to Vradiva, but they were unable to do that.
    • Fine, the options are endless, you have Cenfestaro, Saint Theresa and León, Great Gritain (where La Febre del Nombre started), Castilla, Centralia, Neurcasia, the possibilities are endless! And if you are in Neurcasia you might end up being an EVT pro-Vradivan democracy commentator!
• This all ended around 2018.

(I might reformulate the Vradivan section with Vengatio1)